true north

in 2009, jeff and i packed up and headed out on a month long road trip across canada. from calgary to halifax, we loaded a few of our belongings, both our brothers and our dog into our car for the long drive east. it's a trip i had done several times before, and one i knew we would do again.

this summer, we've decided to try this trip again. slightly modified as jeff is making it into a bit of a working road trip and we now have a 4 year old in tow, but across this fine country we plan to travel. 

it's both a blessing and a curse having family and friends spread across canada - it's of course wonderful to have places to stay and people to visit with at almost every stop along the way, but it also makes it hard to visit regularly. we don't get east as often as we would like, and it feels like there is never enough time to jam in everything we hope to do while we are there. regardless, this trip will be a wonderful and much longed for adventure after several years of being away.

we aim to leave august 1st and be gone for about 6 weeks - slowly working our way from vancouver to halifax with bigger stops in calgary, toronto, and fredericton. i will share some photos and stories here on the blog, and also over on instagram. feel free to follow along - @paperbluejay

a few photos from our 2009 trip...

one year.

one year. one long, emotional, entire year has passed since my life changed forever. since our family changed forever.

our sweet roo was born into the world july 12th, 2013. at only 19 weeks, he no longer had a heartbeat and though we never got to meet him, to hold him close, hear his sweet baby sounds, see his beautiful little eyes, touch his little wrinkled hands or kiss his tiny soft cheeks, we loved him so deeply. we will always love him - the fourth member of our family.

i miss him every day. it feels weird to say that about someone i've never met, but i do. i always think about how old he would be now and what life would be like if he were here to spend it with us. i see babies at the park and am thankful i can now smile thinking of our little roo.

a sweet friend of mine lost her father last year. she shared a quote shortly after roo's passing that has stuck with.

'The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.'

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and John Kessler

we will always love you, roo. wild clouds, white moths and peculiarly placed pine cones will always make my heart flutter for a moment while i close my eyes and send a little extra love your way.

rest well my littlest one. xo